i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Operation Purity has been aborted
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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