We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
