I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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