Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
