i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
