Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
