Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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