saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
