I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
