Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
