I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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