i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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