haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
