He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
