My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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