I wish I could teleport
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
