that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
