Fuck appropriateness.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
