no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
