garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
