we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
