shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
