the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
