She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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