I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
