People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
