she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
