i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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