Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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