So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
