3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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