one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
