sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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