she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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