I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
