No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
