We won't sleep together?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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