it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
