Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
