This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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