Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
