I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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