Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
