dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
