Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are a genius and a whore.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
