Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I need a burrito and a hug.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
