youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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