Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
