I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
