Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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