I'd wear matching sweaters with you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
