2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
